In June of 2000 I met up in NYC with Patrick and Stephanie Albin so we could road trip back to San Francisco. This was the summer after our first year of grad school. We also took along a dictaphone on which we narrated our adventures, so that our classmate Sam Sober could join the trip vicariously. This explains the graffiti we left on the wall of some random restaurant in Wyoming (see the pictures below). We took a multi-week meandering route and got way off the highway. Naturally Patrick had an amazing sense for where to find the weird, off-beat, and hidden corners of America. I think he was most proud of locating what was, at that time, the only gay bar in Missoula, MT -- which ran only certain nights of the week borrowing space at the Veterans of Foreign Wars building. The strangeness of that pairing brought a mischievous glint to Patrick's eye.
What really struck me on this trip was Patrick's amazing ability to talk to and connect with ANYONE. No matter where we went -- big city or small town; east or west -- he struck up conversations and even made friends with strangers. People wanted to talk to him. There is one particular example of this from the road trip that has stayed with me all these years, because it was the first time I realized how different and special Patrick was in his ability to connect deeply with people.
We were car camping near Devil's Tower, Wyoming. By the time we set up our tent, it was getting late and we needed some dinner. Driving around we quickly realized that pretty much everything was closed. Finally we came to a roadhouse. It was mostly a bar, and it was clear this was a locals place -- no other tourists were in there. There was a few different groups of locals, maybe 8 in all, plus the bartender who was clearly buddies with everyone. But they did serve food and we were hungry, so despite some awkwardness and side-eye from the other folks we decided to sit down.
It wasn't long before the locals were asking us where we were from. When we told them we were from San Francisco it was clear that a lot of assumptions were quickly being made about us. They started asking us about every possible California and SF stereotype -- bad traffic, crime...and eventually there were some homophobic remarks. Nothing directed specifically at us, and nothing threatening, but nevertheless I was feeling very uncomfortable. Somehow Patrick was not. He deflected the worst of the comments and found common ground. Soon the entire bar had gathered around our table to drink their beers and swap stories with this charming SF kid with blue hair.
We were there for hours, sharing stories from our different worlds. Of course Patrick was doing pretty much all the talking from our side, and of course by this point he locals were buying him drinks! The thing I remember best is that the locals really wanted us to know about their "deer plows." I guess they knew this was likely to freak out the city folks. Basically they needed to strap metal plows on the front of their pickup trucks because there are no street lights out there in the empty West...and so inevitably you are going to hit a lot of deer. Without your deer plow your truck is toast.
By the end of the evening Patrick had melted all the stereotypes on both sides. He brought everyone together. I know that many of you will recognize this trait -- so many of the other posts here on this site reflect Patrick's amazing ability to connect deeply with people.
Pictures from the trip:
#1 Patrick at Glacier National Park
#2 Somewhere in Montana, Patrick emulates a western-wear model
#3 Patrick and Stephanie at a roadside diner
#4 me and Patrick at Badlands national park
#5 Memorializing the trip with graffiti at a restaurant in Wyoming
A wonderful memory Jeremy. Thanks for sharing.